Favorite Drinking Quotes

Here is a collection of some of our favorite Wine, Beer, Spirits, and drinking quotes. Most are very humorous and some are quite cheeky so if you are easily offended then please look away. If you have a good or amusing Beverage related quote please send it to us and we will share it with all of our readers.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Oscar Wilde

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.
P.J. O’Rourke

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W.C. Fields

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
Oscar Wilde

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W.C. Fields

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

He was a wise man who invented beer.
Plato

Only the unimaginative can fail to find a reason for drinking Champagne.
Oscar Wilde

I drink to make other people more interesting.
Ernest Hemingway

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
P.J. O’Rourke

Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W.C. Fields

Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.
Ernest Hemingway

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W.C. Fields

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
Winston Churchill

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P.J. O’Rourke

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!
William Shakespeare, Othello

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

Wine cheers the sad, revives the old, inspires the young, makes weariness forget his toil.
Lord Byron

Wine gives strength to weary men.
Homer

Wine is bottled poetry.
Robert Louis Stevenson

Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than possibly, any other purely sensory thing.
Ernest Hemingway

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.
Ernest Hemingway

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.
Bette Davis

When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.
Al Capone

I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate. And I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.
Napoleon Bonaparte

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.
George Burns

I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.
George Gobel